how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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