I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
