What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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