it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
