Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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