What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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