Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
