She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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