try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
