she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
