can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Randomize
