dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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