One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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