We won't sleep together?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
