So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I skipped work to stalk him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize