Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
