That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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