I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
