you would pick up someone in the library
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
