hotel room ftw
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
