the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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