ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
