You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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