she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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