it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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