You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Come share oat with me in your robe
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize