You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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