my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
