I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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