a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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