it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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