vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize