She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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