I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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