i just wanna soil my oats bro
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
