when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you win again, gameday.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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