he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Mom said you looked used
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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