Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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