Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
