You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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