We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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