i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
