i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
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I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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