Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
