I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
