if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
