Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
