He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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