When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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