So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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