just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
