Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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