remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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