FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Rumble strips road head = magical
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
