Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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