I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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