Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
