Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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