Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
