win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
