Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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