i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
