It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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