It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
