Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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